Just a Quick One : Losing V

This photo was shared in a mommy group I’m in. That Facebook group have more than 15 thousand members and it’s a haven for us moms. Most of us feel it’s a safe place where we can share thoughts and secrets. Anything that moms talk about (from in laws, mistresses, school issues, asking for recommendations, ANYTHING!) can easily be shared in that group and unlike those other mommy groups, this one have more mature members (in my opinion).

When that photo was posted, of course most members responded. Most of the lost it to their husbands or partners, some too early, some too late. What really caught  my attention are those who responded same as me.

Me, I lost it to my 1st boyfriend at 15. He forced me to. By definition, that is considered as rape. I was too young and naive then and I never wanted to dwell on the thought that I’m a victim. I said to myself that it’s OK since he’s my boyfriend anyway. I hid that “rape thought” at the back of my mind ’cause I don’t know what to do. He lives right in front of our house, our parents are friends and…. I don’t know. I just don’t know things. 

Several members commented: 15 (or whatever their age), my ex bf forced me to

There’s one who lost it at 14 to her abusive ex boyfriend. She had a miscarriage and none of them even know that she got pregnant. After the miscarriage, she broke up with him and she stayed away from him. I got teary eyed when I read about what happened to her. I can feel how painful and frustrating that was for her and like all the other members, we’re glad she’s fine now and she already have her family.

About 2-5% of the responders in that post lost their virginity by force or rape. The age is somehow alarming too (one mom said she was raped at 13, that’s when she lost hers. Nobody dared to ask what happened, all of us are just thankful that she’s OK now) since those abuses happened too early or during our teenage years. Not everyone poured out details but aside from that 13-year-old confession, almost all are from exes who forced or abused them.

These kind of things go unreported and some incidents (like the 13-year-old rape) happened without her parent’s knowing it even until now. 

As a mom, I feel worried that someday my daughter might experience those things. What if she keeps it as a secret too? What if she gets blinded by “love” and…and… *sigh*

On the brighter side though, almost about 85% of those who answered lost it to their now husband. 

It’s a choice, not a chance

I saw this photo in one of my friends’ Facebook profile and I totally agree with what this guy said.

Let me share you guys something.

Our relationship started with a “trial” stage. Both of us just came out of toxic relationships and I said “let’s try to be together for six months and if we’re still together by that time, we’ll decided if we’ll be serious”. We just celebrated our 6th anniversary last April 4. We chose to be together.

When I was pregnant with our first child, we both made a lot of wrong choices that are selfish. We broke up for two months after I gave birth, but then I chose to give him another chance.

Like most men, he made a mistake with some girl before and there was a time when I’m ready to let him go. He chose to us, me and our kids, over that girl. We mended our relationship and for the first time, it is a forgive and  forget thing. We chose to start again. 

Finally, me and my husband never really believed in marriage. We don’t even consider it, to be honest. We both think that it’s just a paper and no matter what you do, if your spouse will leave or cheat, nothing can stop them. True, we think getting married is useless but we still chose to, for the sake of our children.

You see, in six years of being together we already  know the worst side of each other. There are a lot of points in our relationship where we can simply walk away but still, we chose to stay and love the person we’re with. 

True enough, relationships last long because two people CHOSE to.

Why is there a sun?

One of the most fascinating experience that I think each parent experienced at one point is having to answer some not-so-easy questions of a toddler. You see, it’s nice to think that from a tiny little baby who’s kicking inside your tummy, your baby’s not so little anymore and she’s starting to wonder more about her surroundings.

As a mom, I already get to answer several questions and most of the time, my answer is “that’s just how it is”, but I’m gonna share something that happened last night.

We’re in bedroom waiting for dinner and we’re watching Fairy Tail (the anime, yes. We’re on Ep130). Erika, our 3-year-old daughter, was hugging Michael that time when she suddenly asked ” Papa, bakit may araw?” (“Papa, why is there a sun?”) Michael looked at me and I just raised my eyebrows. I’m also waiting for his answer. He said “Syempre para may liwanag tayo. Kung walang araw, edi laging gabi, lagi kang tulog nun. Gusto mo ba yun?” (“Of course, so that we can have light. If there’s no sun, it’ll be night time always, you’ll be sleeping all the time. Do you want that?”)  To this, Erika simply answered “Ayoko” (“I don’t like that”) and she buried her head to Michael’s chest again. By the time he’s giving his answer, I’m already laughing silently and when they’re done talking, he throw a pillow straight to my face. It’s the first time that my husband get to answer one of those ” Why” questions and it’s just fun listening to them talk like that.

Moms, what’s your child’s memorable question?

Cracked Heels

One of the things that I get to keep after my pregnancies are my cracked heels. Since I gave birth with my second child, I never really get to remove it. Sometimes I’d go for a foot spa but in few weeks time, it’ll be back. I used to love wearing sandals but these cracked heels made me avoid them.

After giving birth to my youngest last year, I bought this ProFeet Cracked Heel Balm (Php 150 during that time). I love how effective it is. I usually apply it at night and it actually works wonders. 
I usually do it like this; after putting the balm, I put on a plastic then a sock. 

Looking for something to try on your cracked heels? Try this.

Masakit Magmahal (Love Hurts)

We’re waiting for our dinner and my son keeps on singing this song and I’m surprised with the conversation we had. I’m not sure if he actually have any idea.

Alexis: *singing “Paano Ba Magmahal” by Sarah G.*

Me: Bakit masakit magmahal Alexis? (Why does love hurts, Alexis?)

Alexis: Eh, ganun talaga yun. Kapag nagmahal ka, masasaktan ka.(That’s how it is. If you love, you get hurt)

Me: Hindi ba pwedeng hindi masaktan? (Is it possible not to get hurt?)

Alexis: Hindi! ‘Pag ‘di ka nasaktan, edi ‘di ka nagmahal nun. *sabay kindat* ( No! If you didn’t get hurt, then you didn’t really love *wink*)

…and that is my 4-year-old son.

It made me think for a sec, his words remindedme of some things that are quite true. Ano’ng alam ng batang ‘to? As if he knows anything, but most probably he’s just playing the words from the lyrics.

Here’s the song btw:

For J and K

Kanina lang kami nagkitakita ulit ni Janelle at Krizza. Nakakatuwang makita at makausap sila ulit,  ang sayang maka-catch up sa kanila. 

Si Krizza,  nagma-masterals na.Kahit tinatawanan ko sya kanina,  nakaka-proud kasi talagang ‘diretso’ pa rin yung direksyon ng mga plano nya.  That’s what I always admired about her.  She’s very competitive, determined and focused. Once she’s put her mind into something, she’ll nake sure she’ll have it.  Nakakatuwa talaga. 

Si Janelle, looking forward na makapagtrabaho na sa BGC.  Nakakatuwa kasi the way I see it she’s taking it slowly but surely.  I hope she can take more risks because like what J. K. Rowling said: 

“It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default.”

It is OK to fail as long as we’re  learning from it.  Personally, I still have a lot of things that I’d like to risk trying but since I have children,  I cannot  do any of those things for now

Krizza and Janelle, salamat at natuloy din sa wakas!  Sa susunod kasama na natin si Eileen ha? 

I love you girls! 

srsly girls, krlan tayo mgkikitakita ult?

A post shared by arianne balagot cantes (@aryaningmo) on

P. S. : Photo was taken during Krizza’s 18th birthday. Sexy pa kami nyan. 😂

Just a Quick One: PotUS

Me and my husband talking about Trump at around 5 in the morning:

Me: Can’t they remove Trump?  Can’t they remove the U. S.  President?  I mean,  what should they do? 

Him: Since they are democratic (country),  they can impeach him. Actually,  his reforms are OK and Americans are not used to strict policies. Just like with Duterte. They’re against how he’s doing things so there are lots of black propagandas. 

Me: OK?  He is against the minorities and …and…how about the Muslim ban that he signed recently? 

Him: Technically,  most of the Muslim bombers legally get in through their airport.  

Me: Bombers?  Really? 

Him: There are bombings, it doesn’t always get reported here though.  Besides, he needs to do what’s best for the country (and the majority) and the minority needs to adjust. That’s why they’re called minority. Look at Putin, (blahblahblah, he even discussed how the voting process is in the US) 
I can’t  even explain how frustrated I am. Saying Trump is same as Duterte is wrong in so many ways.

  As a Filipino living in the Philippines,  I know Duterte’s moves are for the good of our country. A lot of politicians,  army men and policemen are against his war on drugs because they are gaining (millions if not billions) from it. Now, Trump is a different thing. 

Trump,  from what I’ve read from people on my friendlist,  is a very hateful person.  Homophobia and Xenophobia are just some. His hatefulness has encouraged some of his followers to harm other people and that is just wrong in so many ways.  When people starts getting scared for their safety in their own land(or in their neighborhood), then there’s something terribly wrong that’s happening.

This one happened recently as well.  Gosh,  I want to punch that girl in the face. 

P. S. 

Hubby’s a supporter of ‘dictators’ so, yeah.