Just a Quick One : Losing V

This photo was shared in a mommy group I’m in. That Facebook group have more than 15 thousand members and it’s a haven for us moms. Most of us feel it’s a safe place where we can share thoughts and secrets. Anything that moms talk about (from in laws, mistresses, school issues, asking for recommendations, ANYTHING!) can easily be shared in that group and unlike those other mommy groups, this one have more mature members (in my opinion).

When that photo was posted, of course most members responded. Most of the lost it to their husbands or partners, some too early, some too late. What really caught  my attention are those who responded same as me.

Me, I lost it to my 1st boyfriend at 15. He forced me to. By definition, that is considered as rape. I was too young and naive then and I never wanted to dwell on the thought that I’m a victim. I said to myself that it’s OK since he’s my boyfriend anyway. I hid that “rape thought” at the back of my mind ’cause I don’t know what to do. He lives right in front of our house, our parents are friends and…. I don’t know. I just don’t know things. 

Several members commented: 15 (or whatever their age), my ex bf forced me to

There’s one who lost it at 14 to her abusive ex boyfriend. She had a miscarriage and none of them even know that she got pregnant. After the miscarriage, she broke up with him and she stayed away from him. I got teary eyed when I read about what happened to her. I can feel how painful and frustrating that was for her and like all the other members, we’re glad she’s fine now and she already have her family.

About 2-5% of the responders in that post lost their virginity by force or rape. The age is somehow alarming too (one mom said she was raped at 13, that’s when she lost hers. Nobody dared to ask what happened, all of us are just thankful that she’s OK now) since those abuses happened too early or during our teenage years. Not everyone poured out details but aside from that 13-year-old confession, almost all are from exes who forced or abused them.

These kind of things go unreported and some incidents (like the 13-year-old rape) happened without her parent’s knowing it even until now. 

As a mom, I feel worried that someday my daughter might experience those things. What if she keeps it as a secret too? What if she gets blinded by “love” and…and… *sigh*

On the brighter side though, almost about 85% of those who answered lost it to their now husband. 

For J and K

Kanina lang kami nagkitakita ulit ni Janelle at Krizza. Nakakatuwang makita at makausap sila ulit,  ang sayang maka-catch up sa kanila. 

Si Krizza,  nagma-masterals na.Kahit tinatawanan ko sya kanina,  nakaka-proud kasi talagang ‘diretso’ pa rin yung direksyon ng mga plano nya.  That’s what I always admired about her.  She’s very competitive, determined and focused. Once she’s put her mind into something, she’ll nake sure she’ll have it.  Nakakatuwa talaga. 

Si Janelle, looking forward na makapagtrabaho na sa BGC.  Nakakatuwa kasi the way I see it she’s taking it slowly but surely.  I hope she can take more risks because like what J. K. Rowling said: 

“It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default.”

It is OK to fail as long as we’re  learning from it.  Personally, I still have a lot of things that I’d like to risk trying but since I have children,  I cannot  do any of those things for now

Krizza and Janelle, salamat at natuloy din sa wakas!  Sa susunod kasama na natin si Eileen ha? 

I love you girls! 

srsly girls, krlan tayo mgkikitakita ult?

A post shared by arianne balagot cantes (@aryaningmo) on

P. S. : Photo was taken during Krizza’s 18th birthday. Sexy pa kami nyan. 😂

Just a Quick One: PotUS

Me and my husband talking about Trump at around 5 in the morning:

Me: Can’t they remove Trump?  Can’t they remove the U. S.  President?  I mean,  what should they do? 

Him: Since they are democratic (country),  they can impeach him. Actually,  his reforms are OK and Americans are not used to strict policies. Just like with Duterte. They’re against how he’s doing things so there are lots of black propagandas. 

Me: OK?  He is against the minorities and …and…how about the Muslim ban that he signed recently? 

Him: Technically,  most of the Muslim bombers legally get in through their airport.  

Me: Bombers?  Really? 

Him: There are bombings, it doesn’t always get reported here though.  Besides, he needs to do what’s best for the country (and the majority) and the minority needs to adjust. That’s why they’re called minority. Look at Putin, (blahblahblah, he even discussed how the voting process is in the US) 
I can’t  even explain how frustrated I am. Saying Trump is same as Duterte is wrong in so many ways.

  As a Filipino living in the Philippines,  I know Duterte’s moves are for the good of our country. A lot of politicians,  army men and policemen are against his war on drugs because they are gaining (millions if not billions) from it. Now, Trump is a different thing. 

Trump,  from what I’ve read from people on my friendlist,  is a very hateful person.  Homophobia and Xenophobia are just some. His hatefulness has encouraged some of his followers to harm other people and that is just wrong in so many ways.  When people starts getting scared for their safety in their own land(or in their neighborhood), then there’s something terribly wrong that’s happening.

This one happened recently as well.  Gosh,  I want to punch that girl in the face. 

P. S. 

Hubby’s a supporter of ‘dictators’ so, yeah. 

Hi Kuya Rhad,Β 

You’re so Rhad!  Charot. 

Recently, karamihan (kung di man lahat)  ng post mo,  puro pang-brokenhearted at pang-sawi. Nagtataka ako kasi alam ko masaya ka naman sa kanya.  Bakit biglang may ganyan? (ramdam ko yung sobrang in love tas parang biglang bagsak yung relasyon nyo, feeling ko ganun) 

Nagpaka-stalker ako ng slight.  Tinignan ko account nya at tinignan ko din tumblr mo,  baka sakaling andun ang sagot kaso wala (wala pa nung time na yun). 

Ilang araw din na sa tuwing may post ka,  inaabangan ko iniisip ko “OK na kaya si Kuya? “. Binabasa ko looking for clues, although din rin naman kita nakakausap ng personalan o kahit biruan. (pero follower mo ko since tumblr days, wayback 2011 pa!) Lurker lang pero nag-aalala ako. 

Hanggang sa nagpost ka ng “Boyfriend for rent” selfie. Nasabi kong “ahh, medyo umo.okey okey na :D”

Gusto kong malaman yung nangyari pero di ko na tatanungin. Masaya akong sumasaya ka na ulit (kahit pa’no). 

Kuya Rhadson, kung ano man yan alam mong lilipas din yan. Matatapos din yan, at dahil dyan makakasulat ka nanaman ng magandang libro. :mrgreen: Gaya nga ng sabi sa quote sa One More Chance, “baka kaya tayo iniiwan ng taong mahal natin….” alam mo na yun, haba eh. 😂

Basta, kaya mo yan.

Kapag BGC life ka na, makakapagpa.pirma na ko ng libro sayo (sa wakas!).

Till then Kuya.Aja!

Dear You,

I wrote my first letter for you four years ago.  Sobrang ibang iba pa ang sitwasyon noon. :)Bakit ako sumulat ulit? Wala lang. Masaya ako na sa wakas,  mukhang Ok na Ok na kayo.) Sa tuwing nakikita ko yung pictures nyo,  masaya akong makita na masaya ka. 

Kailan kaya kayo ikakasal?  I hope soon.  πŸ™‚

Keep it up a d God bless,  Weisz. 

Just (Another) Quick One : Hobbies, Β Passion and Being a Mom

I was looking at my Instagram feed when I saw this photo by one of my high school friends. An aspiring photographer who takes above average photos (not that I have high standards) and he, Β just like me, Β loves using nature as his subject.

I went on looking at his photos when I realized that I used to love taking photos and looking at nature photography. Β Now, Β I just love looking at them.

I know most parents experience this at one point especially stay-at-home moms like me. Β That moment when you suddenly just miss doing those things that you’re terribly passionate about, Β like photography for instance. You can feel the passion, Β the excitement and the anticipation thinking when you can do the things you used to do. Somehow imagining what you would do and where you’d go to when you get the chance. For a minute, Β you’re flying there planning with a little too much bit of excitement.

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15-minute Freestyle with a Twist

Minsan kahit na napakarami kong gustong isulat, walang lumalabas na salita sa isip ko. Writer’s block na ba ito? Eh hindi naman ako writer. Bakit nga ba ganito? Minsan, kung kailan wala akong papel at ballpen at kung kailan malayo ang cellphone ko, tsaka ako maraming naiisip na isulat.

Nakakasuya. Nakakainis. Nakakabwisit. Nakakapanlumo.

Minsan mapipilitan kang mag-post ng mga bagay na walang kalatuy-latuy at sabaw na post kasi yung idea mo, wala na. O kaya naman, kung kailan pwede ka na magsulat, wala ka namang idea. Pareho lang ang ending: WALA PA RIN!

At ngayon, ito! Nauwi sa 15-minute freestyle dahil wala talaga. Yung utak ko, lutang nanaman. Walang iisang thought. Maraming istoryang hindi mapagkabit-kabit.

Sulat ng sulat, pangtanggal muna ng pressure at stress.

Baka sakaling mamaya, okay na ulit.

Baka sakaling mamaya, makapag-sulat na ulit.

Baka sakaling mamaya, umalis na yung babaeng nakatingin sa bintana namin.

Tang ina. Good night!